Friday, November 22, 2013

RU a Yooper?

My last few posts have been kind of dark.  Don't know what's going on there.  So I made an effort to think of something lighter.
I did a hearing on a guy charged with sexual misconduct one time.  The officer said he approached her right at the count taken right before the units closed down for the night.  He said he had to talk to her about something serious.  So she instructed him to wait in the day room and told him she would talk to him when she completed her count.  The officer did her rounds, confirmed her count, then went into the day room.  She asked the prisoner what the problem was.  He then stood up, and she noticed his fly was unzipped and his genitals were exposed.  If I recall correctly, she said he had an erection.  At this point, she ordered him to zip it and go to his cell immediately.  He tried to talk her out of writing him up, but she was having none of it.  So he came in for the hearing and pleaded not guilty.  He explained, with a straight face, that the officer mistakenly perceived what had happened.  He said that he is from the U.P., and up there it is a common practice for men to put their fingers into the waistband of their pants, with their thumbs hanging out.  That, he claimed, is what he was doing when the officer came in to talk to him.  Oh boy.  I found him guilty, he became indignant and I sent him on his way.
Then I looked at the officer and said, "Gives a whole new meaning to the term "Thumbs up!".